Self- BeliefApr 29, 2022
Everyone struggles with self-belief at some point in their life, some of us much more than others. Self-belief isn't just about our knowledge and our skillset regarding a particular topic or a particular subject or a certain task. It's about our ability to believe that we can do it, that we can adapt and incorporate new skills and knowledge along the way to help us grow and achieve that task or goal.
Doing that, by adapting, changing and growing takes courage. And the more we do this, grow and change and adapt, the more we succeed, the easier becomes and the more our self-belief will grow.
Now, that all sounds great in theory. But when we're struggling with negative feelings and emotions, and we self-sabotage ourselves, because we don't believe we're good enough, we don't believe we have the abilities or the skills, then moving forward into that space of true self-belief can seem miles away and feel like an impossibility.
It’s important to understand that self-belief can be a learned skill, something you can actually develop, and nurture and grow.
We can get into negative habits and mindsets, bad patterns where that cause a negative flow, negative talk. We can tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, that we aren't worthy enough, that we can't do this, and that we can't achieve that.
Many of us have goals and dreams that we want to achieve, but we don't. The reason we don't achieve these maybe because we're holding ourselves back.
What's your dream? What's your goal? Do you believe in yourself?
What would you do if you knew you'd never fail?
Some of us know exactly what we want from life, other people don't.
And that's okay because we are all on a different part of our journey.
For me, I didn't really know what I wanted to do at various times of my life. I became a chiropractor at the age of 39, and that started me on my purpose to help people, which I love. But most of the time I felt lost and didn’t have a direction. Chiropractic helped to a point, but then I felt lost again.
Sometimes we know we want just don't know how to start. Other times, fear can also affect us and stop us from moving forward. That is also okay, as long as we are aware of it. These are just some of the hiccups on this journey of life.
If fear is holding us back we often move into the safe and secure mode, our comfort zone, where we sit & stay.
If we don't go after our dreams and our goals, then we often make excuses for ourselves, such as:
- we're waiting for the right moment
- it's just not the right time
- it's not quite safe enough
- we're going to wait till things fall into place
- wait for when our finances are at their best
- or for the right resources before starting
They are just excuses. Because honestly, we can make those things happen and manifest them if we want. And it's never a safe time, it's never the right moment. Just for the record, the best time to start following your dream and achieving a goal is right now.
Remember, if you don't start, you will never get there no matter what it is, or how far you've got to go.
Believing in yourself is the first step to achieving our goals. That self-belief is the core of it all. The second step is to take action. And it's almost a dual-edged sword because if you take action, it'll help with your self-belief. But sometimes you can't start because you don't have that self-belief.
Sometimes you just have to start to allow that self-belief to develop.
We have to understand if we have a negative or limiting self-belief, and if so, understand it can affect our attitude, our thoughts, our feelings, and behaviours. It can stop us from achieving our goals.
If with have a positive self-belief, it affects all those things in a positive way and can drive us to achieve our goals.
It’s really important that you nurture a positive attitude every day and to remember you've got a choice, even in those tough times. And not making a choice is making a choice.
Visualize your dreams and your goals, say it like your minute like you're already living it.
For my upcoming one-day workshop I say, “It is an amazing, powerful, transformational day, allowing men to see things from a perspective, to learn new tools and skills and walk away empowered to change their life.”
That's what I want to do. That's how I'm talking to myself. To be better. And that's what's going to happen. That is the positive affirmation and anticipation.
Other daily affirmations like, “I'm, I am perfect just the way I am.” “I am going to live this life with passion, have wonderful and deep relationships and grow and learn each day.” They all help.
Do yours, your way.
Once you start doing this, keep going. Take action every day, you can't stop after doing it once. It just doesn't work that way.
If you aren’t working towards your dreams or are stuck because your self-belief is holding you back, I suggest setting steps. Setting steps in place can motivate you and help you reach your goals and dreams.
If you were about to go on holiday and you want to get from where you live to your holiday destination, then you will have to have a plan to get from point A to point B.
You will know which roads to go down, and how fast you can go. When you need a fuel stop when you have to turn left or right how, far you have to travel before you have to turn left or right again, and know approximately how long it's going to take to get there.
By looking at maps before you leave, (or having your Maps on your phone in your car), you know how far you can go, how fast it is when there's a roadblock up ahead.
(Note: Just a side note of that roadblock. It may be a bridge out, a rollover, or a traffic jam. If this occurs we have to wait or find a different path. It will take longer, but we still get there. Sometimes it’s as simple as a flat tire. It takes more work but we still get there. This also happens with life. There's a speed bump or road out. That may be in form of a loss of a loved one, we get sick or injured, we try something and it doesn’t work, or doesn’t work in our expected timeframe).
If this happens it doesn’t mean giving up and becoming disheartened. Grieve, adapt, overcome, and learn from those moments. You don't turn around on your way to your holiday destination just because you have a flat tire or have a roadblock. You just do a bit of extra work or go in a different direction.
When you set your goals and your dreams, find what works. Based on the skills and knowledge you learn.
I have to point out…
We NEVER Fail when we're going towards our dreams and our goals.
We NEVER Fail, because they are the LESSONS letting us know not to do next time.
We NEVER Fail, it corrects us on our path to achieving our goal.
It's a bit like Edison with his light bulbs. He found 9,999 ways how a light bulb does not work before he found to do a way that did.
When it comes to setting up goals or steps to achieve your dreams, it's really important to structure in a way that we know will work. The best way to do it is with a SMART setting.
S – Specific – Set a specific goal
M – Measurable – Be able to see how you are progressing
A – Attainable – Ensure you can reach the goal
R – Relevant – It’s relevant to your goal, dream or purpose
T – Time- Set a time frame that is achievable
Remember, this can be assessed and reassessed as you work towards your goal. Sometime the time frame may change. Other times we may realize that it wasn’t really the dream or goal we really wanted.
Our self-limiting beliefs can affect reaching our dreams or goals. They can also hinder our relationships, cause us to feel inadequate, that we don't have the right skills and knowledge levels, and that we aren’t good enough, so we stop or self-sabotage.
That was how I felt I lived for the first 30 years of my adult life. Hiding. Withdrawing. We can all do that and it can stop us from living the life we deserve. And we deserve to live an amazing life.
It’s time…so overcome those limiting self-beliefs and time to Start Believing in YOU!
Peace, love and healing.
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